the radiology department called today.
she went over my health history, got my list o’ meds and gave me a quick run down of what my biopsy day will look like.
i need to check in by 9am on april 7th. the nurses will take me back and it should take 30-45 minutes to get me all prepped and ready to roll.
then i’ll go into the room where i’ll meet the radiologist and the doctor. basically – they’ll numb my neck with a local anesthetic, find each of the masses with the ultrasound machine and then use the images on the screen to guide a long skinny needle into my neck, shake it around to break up some cells for testing and then use a special vacuum method to suck some of the cells from each of the masses. they can’t just jab and suck because they won’t get the cells they need to test to see if it’s cancerous with that method. they have to stab me, shake the needle around to break it up a little bit – and theeeeen suck. with a vacuum thing.
it’s like disneyland. but better. :headdesk:
she said i’d be done by noon and then i’ll spend an hour or so in recovery. then i can go home. and take a bath. and sleep. in that order. LOL. she also said it’s not as bad as it sounds. i’m pretty sure she lied- but i’m gonna go with that. oy.
i don’t even need a chauffeur. i can drive myself. although – i have been considering arriving and departing by limo. just because. if i really do have cancer – mama comes and goes in s-t-y-l-e.
kev nixed that idea. too expensive. but alas. 
the nurse said that the pathologist will get my samples – set em’ up – test em’ out – read the results and that i should know by the end of the day on friday what these monsters are.
it couldn’t get here fast enough.
i feel like i’m bipolar. sometimes i’m ok. i’m playing and living and really enjoying my people. other times – i’m devastated and spend time thinking about how i should spend my last days. i have big plans – so that’s good. but at the end of the day – i’m just trying to relax and be present.
i know this could be SOOOO much worse. we could be testing for a brain tumor. or – god forbid – we could be testing one of my littles instead of me. i totally get it and i’m so unbelievably grateful my family is healthy and strong. but it still doesn’t minimize this situation. and i’m still scared. but i am strong. and i’ll get through this. because really… what’s my other option? LOL. <3
i’m trying SOOOO very hard to be strong. and believe. and pray and get close to god. because there is nothing else i can do. <3
until next time,
*m
